The Daily Panorama Picture

10/03/2006







Too
late for the Ryder Cup, but fuck golfers any old ways, TOSSERS,:)


An Adolf - taking two shots in a bunker
>
>An Arthur Scargill - great strike but a poor result
>
>A Rodney King - over-clubbed
>
>An O.J. Simpson - shouldn't have, but got away with it
>
>A Condom - safe but didn't feel right
>
>An elephant's arsehole - it's high; and it stinks
>
>A sister-in-law - I'm up there, but I know that I shouldn't be
>
>A Sally Gunnell - ugly but a good runner
>
>An IRA shot - a provisional
>
>A Diego Maradonna / Dennis Wise - nasty five footer
>
>A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read
>
>A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't
>
>A lady boy - Looks like an easy hole but all may not be what it seems
>
>A gynaecologist's assistant - just shaves the hole
>
>Does your husband play? - for when a man hits a short tee shot
>
>A Cuban - needs one more revolution
>
>An Elton John - a big bender that lips the rim
>
>A Glen Miller - kept low and didn't make it over the water>
>
>A Marilyn Monroe - a fair crack up the middle (aka "A Blondie")
>
>A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver
>
>A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver
>
>A Michael Jackson - fading away
>
>An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to get a result
>
>A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it
>
>A Tony Blair - too much spin
>
>A Bin Laden - driven out and never to be found again
>
>A Jamie Oliver - you really want to smack it but you can't







How
d,ya like me new logo ya bunch o feckers ,took me bleedin ages so it did, if ya look closely enuff ye will see it has the right logo for gmail, heh, well aint got nuthin better ta do wit me time
, also wot d,ye reckon to me winter colour scheme, thot i,d keep the bright colours oot for awhile, too many cases of reported epilepsy,

IN

da news over the past 24hr,s, some shit about yet another nutter on the rampage, Ammericans....Guns.Murder,,,,,,,,,,, pretty much a common occurrence, how come it took up so much news coverage??????? if it was so feckin awful why you sittin there doin nuthin, are ye that feckin scared, or was just yet another monday, non -news day, bet ye won,t give a monkeys toss come mid week lottery time, if ye win ye could always buy a bunker or some shit or maybe even a whole fuckin desert to stick yer head in,







W

ashin machine still actin the bleedin maggot, fecker that it is, gonna hav ta goes out an buy one, just the last fing i needs ta be doin, aint had much of a chance this year to get ahead wit all the feckin movin i,ve had ta be doin, fecker,just seems to be a never endin stream of bills, i,ve paid over a years worth of utility bills in under 9/10 month, feck knows how much rent an bleedin deposits, supposedly folks who rent out there gaffs are meant ta supply shit like this, washin machines or whatever, but since we,ve become a right load of greedy bastards any corner that can be cut will be, a feckin washin machine is pretty much essential, aint gonna and actually dont have the time to run to laundrettes,

hav done shit loads of favours and the like this year for folks, ye dont usually mind for buds and the like , or folks who are havin a wee bit of a hard time, but there,s a few folks at the moment who are beginning to get me goat, it,s not a sif i,ve been in the position to put me self out too much, but i,ll be fucked if i,m happy wit the situation


S

ome of the staff at work are beginning to act a right bollox as well, one of the newer geezers has,nt even completed a full week since he,s started, forever goin awol, fuck, now it,s quite hard ta get yer ass kicked outta security, ye really need ta be doin summit like kill santa claus or some shit, it,s a piss easy job as well, an this assignment weve got such a routine goin anyone should be able ta just slip inta the job without anyone noticing or hiccups whatever,nut no, some of the feckin prize winners they send us,,,,,,,,jeez feckin louis............


N
ow security really does hav minimum requirements at entry level, ye don,t needs ta be a feckin brain surgeon , rocket feckin scientist, but fuck where did ya get the molluscs an amoeba,s from, they get reasonable well paid ye know, well thats if they feckin turn up at work, ok the hourly rate is just above minimum wage, but then ye get, site allowance, they actually gives ya money for being in the same place more than twice a week, shift allowance, weekend allowance, we have union recognition, paid feckin holidays, cleaning allowance for our freakin uniforms, every place we work the gaff has to supply some where,s for us ta has a cuppa, summit ta eat an a place for us ta puts our big fat ass, the place we is right now, it allows us free phone calls, every fucker at the security lark here is from overseas, yep wee use da phone to call home, free internet access, shit they even give us a feckin TV,i men i,m sittin here at work knockin out this feckin blog, for all of you,se who has ta do it from home WTF.

been

gettin ever so slightly more fucked off wit peeps as the weeks have gone bye, the fuckers who whinged and whined so they could get there selfs onto this assignment, then the bastards dont turn in for work, utter twats, then there,s the fuckers who i,ve helped out finacially recently, they knew fine well at the time i was finding it a wee bitty diffficult meself, ............know that the money wasn,t extra money i had, it wasn,t like disposable income, money i was gonna just piss up against a wall, it was for payin bills which i put off for awhile, hmmmmmmmmm.never always the best idea, anyways it looks like am gonna hav to spend this weeks money on a feckin washin machine, yea aint that the coolest of things to be doin

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